sheesh
if only i can put all this monkey business in my head down on paper.
maybe it will give me some relief from the relentless dreams i have been having, when i finally do fall asleep. maybe its my brain screaming at me, telling me i need to get all these thoughts out in a different way. talking about some of them is just not cutting it. perhaps i should be making movies. perhaps i should be writing more songs or a book or just pages and pages of nonsense. maybe its just that i watch too much tv. those big wigs in hollywood are turning my brain to be a full consumer and not a free thinker. maybe its just the booze. but why when i try do something about it does it feel worse? i try write, nothing gets penned down. i try film, i have no content. i try create a song, i have no inspiration. i try not watch tv, and i get very very bored.
i need a holiday.
i need an escape.
i need my insanity to be let out.
i need...........
