Visitors Pass

so i am just visiting. that is an interesting concept. it makes a lot of things in my life makes sense. i always feel like i am on the outside of things. never quite wrapped my head around the day to day living of this world. all the cultures and prejudices. sure i have experienced a few of them but i have never really understood them. a stranger in my own town even. i do what i have to, and even sometimes i dont do that. or rather cant understand why it is something i "have" to do. all i can say is i hope that one day i will understand to some extent. or maybe even just see a little clearer. cause right now i am driving in the mist, and the sun is trying, but just cant seem to break through.

mental silence

i hope they will be done. all the things i need to do. no idea what they are though. i think its all a mind game to keep people searching for the "next thing". your life is not complete until you do all the steps. then once you are done you still find yourself feeling empty, like perhaps there is still one more step that no one told you about. and then you will be truly happy. and what is it? death? it can only be. because only in death is your mind shut off for good. and you have never truly lived until you have died.